[BUY MY BOOK THE AU] Taking the prettiest accountant at the IRS out for A Night

[flyguy]

[When Tony had texted Rhys at 8 in the evening with Coming to pick you up. Be wearing pants. it'd been some of the usual. You know the Tony Stark is rich and famous and a Lot of People Are Into That so he does whatever he wants kind of usual. Him showing up in an hotrod red Lamborghini and critiquing Rhys's outfit as the guy happily (or unhappily?) traipses out of his house/apartment/domicile of dwelling is...

Also pretty par for their evenings.]

I told you to be wearing pants. Not dressed like we're going out to Walmart for milk and disappointment. You're embarrassing me honeybear, this is an embarrassment. I thought government employees had a dress standard.

[Is what he says. But he's also clicking the button on his remote that makes the passenger door open. Jump in Barbie, I'm old and we're going for a ride.]

Comments

[rhygret]

[ Tony please. It's his day off, of course Rhys had been in comfortable clothes. It's not as if he planned to go anywhere, it's a rare chance for him to chill out and take some real "Rhys time."

The text has him in a pair of jeans he really doesn't see what the problem with them is, it's not as if they're especially faded. Not even the knees have given out, but by this point? Rhys just manages a faintly exasperated look of annoyance and he seats himself and pulls the door shut behind him, sighing. ]

It's my day off alright?? What's so important that you needed to call me out of the blue like that?

[flyguy]

[Tony steps in and buckles up. Car immediately on because of course it's a stupid fancy car with an onboard computer that starts up once it recognizes him in the driver's seat. He'll be damned if he knows how any of it works, but hey it impresses the models and that's all that matters.]

The Springs' is having Ladies' Night and we both know how you need that in your social life. I may, also, have just closed a million dollar movie deal I'm not allowed to disclose any information on. So naturally I thought of you, my other asset I have a non-disclosure agreement on. When are you going to start telling people what you actually do for a living?

[Speaking at a million miles an hour is what Tony does. Textbook case of motormouth. But he is looking at Rhys, not having started driving yet.]

You going to put on your seatbelt or what? This isn't Dr. Strange the 90s, nobody's "too cool" for road safety anymore.

[Just saying Rhys. Get with the times, buddy.]

[rhygret]

Ignoring the fact that you just called me "asset" instead of "friend", [ even if he's certain that's nebulous at best most times regardless ] I was looking forward to an evening in? Something nice and quiet. I'm still recovering from last weekend.

[ But he does move to pull on his seat belt because yes yes okay dad. ]

[flyguy]

[Woah, woah, woah— he uses protection in all aspects of his life, okay Rhys?? Mainly because even though half his books are aimed at the young adult market he has nightmares of random kids walking up to him and calling him "dad". Who needs that in their life? ...Even at...age... Look, it doesn't matter, he's still Robert Downy Jr sexy, okay.

ANYWAY off they go. Twenty over the speed limit naturally because while seatbelts are for the modern man, speed limits are still for chumps and plebs. So Rhys miiiight find himself thrown back into his seat a bit much like a roller coaster with just as many fund turns and accelerations.]

And it's that kind of thinking that is exactly why no one calls you. What's the last text you had from anyone besides me and work? Bet it was your mom.

[rhygret]

N-ohh, [ Oh god okay, yep. He definitely wasn't ready for that excelleration. ] it was my grandma. [ ...That sounded a lot cooler in his head. Please forget he ever opened his mouth like, ever. ]

--It was her birthday. [ He just needs to quickly get that in please and thank-you. ] Look that's not the point, I get texts okay?? And I have a social life! It's just...selective.

[ For instance right now he is auditing a crazy man who keeps cats called Princess and Pumpkin. That totally counts!

[flyguy]

If you say between yourself and Judge Judy we're not on speaking terms for the next five minutes.

[Another sharp turn, the squealing of tires and the burn of rubber. After a long day of smiles for the camera and being everyone's favorite prima dona it's nice to be able to relax. Be with someone not trying to get as his cash. Gotta appreciate the honesty in the sassback.]

So what was the itinerary for the weekend? Lay it on me.

[rhygret]

[ Give him a moment here, Rhys just really needs to hold onto the door's arm rest and make sure he's...still alive, and all that. He needs to set a reminder to never get into a moving vehicle with Tony at the wheel. ]

Peace and quiet and living past the next three turns, jesus Tony! Can you tone it down a notch or five?? [ He means this in the nicest way possible ]

[flyguy]

Just consider me your fairy godmother: getting you where you need to be [Another sharp turn and yep that is definitely the sharp smell of smoke.] when you need to be there.

[They 180 spin into a parking space outside of a fancy hotel with a multicolored lit up fountain.. "Monte Springs" illuminated like aliens are coming and need a landing pad in big letters, naturally.]

Record time! Lookit that. Telling you: you're my good luck charm. Let's roll, chuckles.

[And that's how they enter packed casino with Rhys being offered a complimentary drink by the woman in a sexy bunny outfit at the front door. Gonna be a fun (and hard to remember) night.]

[rhygret]

[ Rhys is fairly certain that manoeuvre alone shaved at least ten years off end the end of his life. His heart's racing by the time he managed to shakily unclip his seat belt and trail after the man, awkwardly accepting that drink. More an automated response than a desire to actually drink it, but. ]

Please never call me that again.

[flyguy]

Don't like that one, I've got a dozen others, baby's breath: sugartits, candyass, mama's boy, heterosexual life partner—

[You should probably stop him now Rhys because he clearly has a list. ...Why does he have a list? Don't ask, okay.]

[rhygret]

Just Rhys is fine, thank-you! [ Why does he have so many of these??? In public no less? Sure not that many people are paying direct attention to him but now Rhys understands why Tony was all over him about his outfit. He feels incredibly under-dressed for this part and awkwardly runs a hand through his hair. ]

What sort of party is this anyway??

[flyguy]

Rich people party. The typical.

[You know, everyone trying to show off their clothes, their dates, who's got the best of the best. And Tony's brought...Rhys. In jeans no less.]

Just tell people you're going Bohemian. They'll think your avant-garde. [A pause.] Who knows: maybe you'll set off a trend. Craps or roulette? What are you feeling tonight?

[As he, you know, motions a waiter to bring them more alcohol. If Rhys feels like he's getting a little shanghaied... Well he wouldn't be wrong. On the plus side the venue is gorgeous? Crystal chandeliers, mood lighting, plush carpet; the works. It's hard not to feel like being present is akin to seeing and being seen. No one normal's walking around this floor, that's for sure.]

[rhygret]

[ The women in the bunny girl costumes are a big tip-off. ]

Tony! [ That comes out hissed, equal parts anger and embarrassment as Rhys very quickly turns away from meeting anyone's gaze. ] I don't want to play craps, I want to spend the night in! In pyjamas, maybe even eating some ice cream! Something quiet.

[ For a change. Yes he knows it's kind of lame but he's never felt more immediately out of place. He's not even sure he can afford half the opening bets here. ]

Noooo obligation for a tagback ftr! All cool!

[flyguy]

And that's all very humdrum and safe, Stephanie.

[Stopping Rhys he straightens the other man's collar like Rhys is a child in need of some help in the presentable department.]

But you're an adult now, time to start acting it. Roulette it is. Go save us a spot at the table, kittykat. Going to go open a tab with the House—

[And that's how Rhys is being turned to face a couple roulette tables crammed with gorgeous gals in chest popping dresses and handsome hunks brandishing Rolexes worth more than Rhys's salary. The light smack on the ass Tony gives him before disappearing probably does not help Rhys's confidence here.]

tags you back anyway!!

[rhygret]

[ It most certainly does not. Rhys isn't sure if he feels chastised, embarrassed, or vaguely flattered by the end of all that, standing awkwardly as colournrises to his face. He doesn't sport a full blush, but he does cough out a weak laugh and clear his threat, straightening and running. A hand back through his hair.

He's going to kill Tony for this later, he thinks. Until one of the table's pieces of eye candy attaches themself to his side, some well-cut and refined guy with perfect teeth and a smile that leaves Rhys feeling like a teenager all over again.

Correction: he will kill Tony much later, if all goes well. ]

L...let's spin that table?

[ Rhys is literally the Least Prepared for this, but he's got money to burn (apparently??) and that's enough for everyone else there.]